By Bill Brier
Date: August 2, 2002
Many of us are quite concerned about the wild stock
market fluctuations and corporate upheavals. If only we had a crystal ball to
help us make our next stock picks. Well, friends, I have gazed into my crystal
ball, burned incense and consulted with Miss Cleo. Based on all that, I predict
the following consolidations will occur before the end of the year:
- Hale Business Systems, Mary Kay Cosmetics, Fuller Brush and W.R.Grace Co.
will merge and become Hale, Mary, Fuller, Grace.
- Polygram Records, Warner Brothers and Zesta Crackers will join forces and
become Polly Warner Cracker.
- 3M Company will merge with Goodyear Tire and Rubber, and henceforth will
be referred to as MMM Good.
- Zippo Manufacturing, Audi Motor Car, Dofasco, and Dakota Mining will merge
to become, of course, ZipAudiDoDa.
- Federal Express (FedEx) is expected to join forces with its major
competitor, United Parcel Service (UPS), and consolidate as FedUP.
- Fairchild Electronics and Honeywell Computers will soon become Fairwell
- Martha Stewart and Evian Spring Water will combine their product lines and
name the new company Up the Creek.
- Grey Poupon and Docker Pants are expected to morph into Poupon Pants.
- Knott's Berry Farm and the National Organization for Women will join
forces under the new name Knott NOW!
- And finally, to everyone's relief, Stop and Shop will merge with A&P,
resulting in a new venture that will be referred to as Stop and P.
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