Top Ten Reasons Why It is 2001 and I
Am Not Fighting HAL in Outer Space
Date: August 23, 2001
- Captain Kirk still won't release the secret to the warp
- Grey squirrels have been sabotaging our power grid (see
- NASA doesn't want space turned into a tourist trap.
- Weather-balloon powered lawn chairs only have a 16,000
ft. ceiling (see
- All of our finest silicon goes to breast implants.
- All this talk of creating artificial intelligence seems
premature as there is a shortage of intelligence in the first place. If we do
ever get it, Fabio will say in the A.I. commercials "I can't believe it's not
- Voice recognition still means to most people that you
know the celebrity behind the voice in a commercial.
- We are not working hard enough to program our computers
to have the capability to secretly plot humankind's extinction.
- All of our best computers were too busy animating
- We are stagnated; educational methods have not improved
much in 500 years, the engine has virtually been the same concept for 100
years, and we still have tooth decay. On the other hand, these new optical
mice are wonderful!
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